Hey lovelies,
After yesterday's heavier post, I'm in the mood for something much lighter today! So let's talk about something that I experienced during my freshman year of college which was a roommate with a serious boyfriend. Because I lived suite-style, I had 3 other roommates. One of them kept to herself a lot, but the other two quickly became some of my best college friends.
They both had serious boyfriends. One of their significant others didn't go to our school and would only visit occasionally and the other one's boyfriend lived down the hall from us.
Let me start off by saying that both of them are great guys and with the equally awesome girls, they make some of the most successful couples that I know. However, I have heard the horror stories that some of my friends living with not so pleasant couples have experienced and I just wanted to share some of the things that we did in order to avoid awkward situations for all of us.
Let's start with my actual roommate who has the boyfriend at a different school. Because he would only come visit about once a month and only for a weekend at a time, it's pretty obvious that while he was visiting, they wanted to spend a lot of time with each other. Although she was always super sweet about extending the warm invitation for me to join them on their days out, I usually tried to just let them have their time and hang out with them during more informal things like football games after dinner Starbucks runs. In addition, during those weekends that he visited, I tried to get myself out of the room as much as possible. Although I never had to do it because I felt awkward or uncomfortable, this could also be a good strategy for someone who doesn't get along with her roommate as well as I did. By making sure that I just found other things to do on the weekends I knew he was visiting, I not only gave them the breathing room I'm sure they appreciated (our rooms are tiny!) as well as giving myself little to no time to mope around feeling bad because I'm still looking for the prince charming that she's already found. If you do plan on spending time out of your room, make sure you tell your roommate where you're going and what time you think you'll be back so she doesn't freak out if you're not home at usual 11 PM and also so she can budget her time and makes sure she gets her gushy love bug time out of the way while you're not in the room.
Moving onto my suitemate with the boyfriend down the hall, I have to say that she did a much better job handling this living situation than a lot of my friends roommates did, as referenced by their horror stories and sleepless nights spent arguing eighth less accommodating roommates. My suitemate used to ask us every day if it was okay for her boyfriend to come over, no matter what time of day it was. She continued to do this even after we told her that we didn't care when he came over and although we eventually got her to stop asking, she remained polite and courteous about everything. This politeness that she showed at the beginning of the year made us more comfortable about him being in the room and he ended up being a really good friend to us as well. Because he was there every weekend, it would be a little ridiculous for us to think that we should avoid the room to give them space. In exchange for this, we would sometimes walk in on cuddle sessions in front of romantic comedies, but because they were always willing to share the popcorn and make room on the couch for everyone, it was never awkward for anyone.
So as you can see, dealing with roommates with boyfriends doesn't have to be a chore! In fact if it's handled well you might even end up with some great guy friends and stories like I did. Of course a lot of this is dependent on the willingness of your roommate to cooperate and respect you (I definitely lucked out) but with a little communication, hopefully you too can have a hassle free relationship with her significant other.
Love,
Ranjini
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
A Start on my Personal Philosophy
DISCLAIMER: I'm getting a little sick and just took some drowsy inducing medicine so please excuse all grammatical, spelling and syntactical errors. Trust me, it bothers me just as much as it bothers you...I'm an English major.
So one of the things that's obviously been in the news lately has been gay rights. This morning I was talking to my dad about this and because writing something out helps me firm up my opinions, I thought I would try expressing them here.
Let me start off by putting it out there that generally I am liberal. Although it can be argued otherwise, I consider myself to have been raised in a liberal fashion and I say this because my family has always fostered an extremely accepting stance towards others regardless of their race, sexual orientation or religion. It seems natural that we should accept other humans for what they are and judge people based only on whether or not they are good.
This becomes tricky because I start sounding like an absolutist but I really consider myself more of a moral relativist. This stems from the fact that I have accepted that as humans, we don't really know which religion or belief system is "right" and therefore should not be able to pass judgment on others who believe differently from us. It should be up to each individual to choose his own values and the only time that I have a problem with these choices is when they involve going out of a persons way to ridicule and point out the flaws in another person's decisions simply because they think differently.
If you haven't guessed, I support gay marriage mostly becaus I don't think that it needs tone as big of a deal as people make it out to be. If you don't want to have a gay marriage, then marry a girl if you're a guy. And hey, if you're a guy who wants to marry another guy because you love them and care about them, who am I to tell you you're wrong?
I don't see it as the end of the world for some conservatives to continue to think that having a gay marriage is a ticket to hell, but I strongly believe that it isn't their place to jam that philosophy down everyone's throats. I think that by taking the time to just focus on ourselves and doing what we think is correct while giving others the breathing room to also focus on what they believe, we envelop ourselves in the true essence of what it means to be a tolerant melting pot of a country.
Love,
Ranjini
So one of the things that's obviously been in the news lately has been gay rights. This morning I was talking to my dad about this and because writing something out helps me firm up my opinions, I thought I would try expressing them here.
Let me start off by putting it out there that generally I am liberal. Although it can be argued otherwise, I consider myself to have been raised in a liberal fashion and I say this because my family has always fostered an extremely accepting stance towards others regardless of their race, sexual orientation or religion. It seems natural that we should accept other humans for what they are and judge people based only on whether or not they are good.
This becomes tricky because I start sounding like an absolutist but I really consider myself more of a moral relativist. This stems from the fact that I have accepted that as humans, we don't really know which religion or belief system is "right" and therefore should not be able to pass judgment on others who believe differently from us. It should be up to each individual to choose his own values and the only time that I have a problem with these choices is when they involve going out of a persons way to ridicule and point out the flaws in another person's decisions simply because they think differently.
If you haven't guessed, I support gay marriage mostly becaus I don't think that it needs tone as big of a deal as people make it out to be. If you don't want to have a gay marriage, then marry a girl if you're a guy. And hey, if you're a guy who wants to marry another guy because you love them and care about them, who am I to tell you you're wrong?
I don't see it as the end of the world for some conservatives to continue to think that having a gay marriage is a ticket to hell, but I strongly believe that it isn't their place to jam that philosophy down everyone's throats. I think that by taking the time to just focus on ourselves and doing what we think is correct while giving others the breathing room to also focus on what they believe, we envelop ourselves in the true essence of what it means to be a tolerant melting pot of a country.
Love,
Ranjini
Monday, August 6, 2012
Better Late Than
Never.
So this post is late but whatever I was really enjoying my time off work! That one day was all I needed to feel completely awesome about everything.
I've moved on to the point in the summer where I start freaking out about college stuff though. At this point, I feel like because I have experienced a year away from home, I know what works and what doesn't. While it's refreshing to be able to prepare for a year away with the collective experience of this past year, it also gives me this insane expectation that everything about this year has to go absolutely perfect. I know it won't, but for whatever reason, I'm having a really hard time accepting the fact that despite my efforts, I will have to deal with plenty of unexpected challenges.
My biggest fear is that one of them will be making and keeping friends. When I started school last year, I had one close friend that I could always rely on for anytime I needed anything from a hug to a buddy to run to the grocery store with. Since then, we've grown apart and while I do miss having that sense of comfort and reassurance, I love that I've gotten more time to focus on bettering myself. I have a somewhat new (or maybe just intensified) view on life that forces me to rely a lot more on myself and I've begin to understand the value of putting in hard work now combined with the patience of waiting for good things to happen as a result. While I'm very happy with these changes, I have to admit that bringing them about caused me to move relationships to the back burner and ending the relationship with that close friend was the first step. Although I can think of a hundred ways that I want to improve myself, I need to put the focus back on maintaining close friendships and finding a balance between introspection and interpersonal relations.
I want to come home from first semester with a college experience that I can be proud of. I want to have good grades, a decent amount of money saved, a set of friends that I'm proud to call my own and the confidence that these things are here to stay because I put effort into making them happen.
At this moment, I feel anxious but prepared. I'm confident that if I focus and remain in touch with these goals, they should be completely attainable.
Wish me luck!
Love,
Ranjini
So this post is late but whatever I was really enjoying my time off work! That one day was all I needed to feel completely awesome about everything.
I've moved on to the point in the summer where I start freaking out about college stuff though. At this point, I feel like because I have experienced a year away from home, I know what works and what doesn't. While it's refreshing to be able to prepare for a year away with the collective experience of this past year, it also gives me this insane expectation that everything about this year has to go absolutely perfect. I know it won't, but for whatever reason, I'm having a really hard time accepting the fact that despite my efforts, I will have to deal with plenty of unexpected challenges.
My biggest fear is that one of them will be making and keeping friends. When I started school last year, I had one close friend that I could always rely on for anytime I needed anything from a hug to a buddy to run to the grocery store with. Since then, we've grown apart and while I do miss having that sense of comfort and reassurance, I love that I've gotten more time to focus on bettering myself. I have a somewhat new (or maybe just intensified) view on life that forces me to rely a lot more on myself and I've begin to understand the value of putting in hard work now combined with the patience of waiting for good things to happen as a result. While I'm very happy with these changes, I have to admit that bringing them about caused me to move relationships to the back burner and ending the relationship with that close friend was the first step. Although I can think of a hundred ways that I want to improve myself, I need to put the focus back on maintaining close friendships and finding a balance between introspection and interpersonal relations.
I want to come home from first semester with a college experience that I can be proud of. I want to have good grades, a decent amount of money saved, a set of friends that I'm proud to call my own and the confidence that these things are here to stay because I put effort into making them happen.
At this moment, I feel anxious but prepared. I'm confident that if I focus and remain in touch with these goals, they should be completely attainable.
Wish me luck!
Love,
Ranjini
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Dorm Room Plans
Tomorrow will be the first day that I don't have work, class or outstanding homework hanging over my head and I plan on carpe-ing the crap out the diem!
Speaking of that quote *cue fancy segway that was totally planned*...
I plan on starting my dorm deorations tomorrow!! Tomorrow morning I'm going to help my mom make lunch so I can begin picking up some of her south indian cooking tips for when I'm far away and crave a home cooked meal (which happens a lot more than I thought it would!) and then I'm going to Costco or somewhere to pick up a rainbow pack of sharpies.
Oh. My. Goodness. I haven't had one of those rainbow packs of sharpies since I was probably 10. I used those markers until every last one, even the ugly colors, ran dry. They're just so danged expensive, but I figure that because I plan on use them in place of buying expensive premade dorm decorations, it'll be cost effective and good for my creative spirit which hasn't gotten much love lately.
I know I want to do the carpe diem quote, "Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna" (Never Say Goodbye in hindi) written in hindi script and some variation on the "Keep Calm and..." traditional poster. I found one that says "Keep Calm and Do Some Fucking Cardio" and I LOVE it, but I'm not sure that my roommates would appreciate having the F-bomb so prominently displayed on the wall, especially when parents and family come visit.
Along the joint between the wall and the ceiling, I want to put a quote from Les Mis, "Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise" to kind of make it look like a ribbon running through there. I can't decide if I'll repeat that quote all around my side of the room or if I'll try to find some more (there are so many good ones from that musical).
Also because I'm really trying to take this time to focus on self improvement, I'm going to make some tracker posters which I'll admit that I was inspired by The Office episode where Michael causes chaos in the warehouse after they have like 400 days of accident free work. The basic concept is that I'll put a title on a sign and every day that I do (or don't do) that thing, I get to put a number up on the board and every time I skip (or don't skip) that thing, I have to start back at 0. I'm hoping that it will help me really visualize my progress on things like working out and eating healthy. It's also a little bit of a public accountability because although I know my roommate would never judge me for skipping a workout (she is waaaay too nice!), subconsciously I will want to keep my number high!
Wish me luck with all of this...I feel like I actually have a lot to do now that I have it in writing!
Love,
Ranjini
Speaking of that quote *cue fancy segway that was totally planned*...
I plan on starting my dorm deorations tomorrow!! Tomorrow morning I'm going to help my mom make lunch so I can begin picking up some of her south indian cooking tips for when I'm far away and crave a home cooked meal (which happens a lot more than I thought it would!) and then I'm going to Costco or somewhere to pick up a rainbow pack of sharpies.
Oh. My. Goodness. I haven't had one of those rainbow packs of sharpies since I was probably 10. I used those markers until every last one, even the ugly colors, ran dry. They're just so danged expensive, but I figure that because I plan on use them in place of buying expensive premade dorm decorations, it'll be cost effective and good for my creative spirit which hasn't gotten much love lately.
I know I want to do the carpe diem quote, "Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna" (Never Say Goodbye in hindi) written in hindi script and some variation on the "Keep Calm and..." traditional poster. I found one that says "Keep Calm and Do Some Fucking Cardio" and I LOVE it, but I'm not sure that my roommates would appreciate having the F-bomb so prominently displayed on the wall, especially when parents and family come visit.
Along the joint between the wall and the ceiling, I want to put a quote from Les Mis, "Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise" to kind of make it look like a ribbon running through there. I can't decide if I'll repeat that quote all around my side of the room or if I'll try to find some more (there are so many good ones from that musical).
Also because I'm really trying to take this time to focus on self improvement, I'm going to make some tracker posters which I'll admit that I was inspired by The Office episode where Michael causes chaos in the warehouse after they have like 400 days of accident free work. The basic concept is that I'll put a title on a sign and every day that I do (or don't do) that thing, I get to put a number up on the board and every time I skip (or don't skip) that thing, I have to start back at 0. I'm hoping that it will help me really visualize my progress on things like working out and eating healthy. It's also a little bit of a public accountability because although I know my roommate would never judge me for skipping a workout (she is waaaay too nice!), subconsciously I will want to keep my number high!
Wish me luck with all of this...I feel like I actually have a lot to do now that I have it in writing!
Love,
Ranjini
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